The Adventure Time Navy
by Oxalia
Summary: Wherein every character is shipped with every other character. No pairing is spared, no matter how cracky- and check out our asexual specials- one for every character! There's a story for every reader, a one-shot for each OTP! Best of all, it's entirely written by an actual literature student! So what are you waiting for? Read and have fun!
1. BMO x BMO

**Hello. I am the author of this project, wherein I will ship every character with every other character in alphabetical order, no matter how cracky. This means we will begin with:**

**BMO!**

**BMO is one of my absolute favourite characters. BMO is gender fluid, so I have no idea how to write his/her pronouns. For the time being, I will alternate between 'he' and 'she', if that's okay. Anyway, the first pairing is:**

**BMO x BMO!**

**Okay. This can go two ways. This is either a one shot where they decide and realise that they don't need romance, they just need themselves. Or, I can stay true to the premise and make them literally fall for themselves. I choose: **

**The Former! There really aren't enough of these kinds of stories out there.**

**Enjoy**.

* * *

BMO knew what romance was.

He'd seen Jake and Lady Rainford together, and they were very, very in love. It was adorable, and sometimes BMO wished there'd be someone for her like that too.

He'd also seen Finn and Flame Princess. It'd been a relationship that had ended painfully, and both participants were hurt in the aftermath. That scared BMO. Was love that dangerous?

"Of course not," NEPTR had said. Finn had messed up. Love doesn't always work like that.

But what did NEPTR know? BMO was not aware of her friend having been in any relationships before.

"Air?"

"Yes, BMO?"

Air had stuck around in the beginning, but they didn't talk so much anymore.

"Do you love me?"

"Sure."

"But... Do you love love me?"

Air paused. He'd thought about this before. Yes, yes he did love BMO.

Love love.

But it was clear that BMO didn't quite understand what love was, and even if he did, BMO didn't love Air quite like that.

"I don't know. Do you want me to?"

"I don't know either."

"... So, why do you ask?"

"Eh?"

"I mean, what makes you think about love all of a sudden?"

BMO paused.

"Well... Finn broke up with his girlfriend, and he's pretty upset about it. I don't get it."

BMO paused again.

"Is something wrong with me?"

Air was taken aback at this statement.

"No! Of course not! What on earth would make you think that?"

"Well... We saw this movie, and they said robots can't feel love."

"So?"

"Is that not bad?"

"Of course not. Why would it be?"

"I don't know."

"That's because it isnt."

"Isn't what?"

"Not loving. It isn't bad."

"But what if I make people sad?"

"By not loving?"

"Yes. I don't want to make people sad."

"But you love so much, BMO. I see you all the time, loving Jake, loving Finn. So what if you don't want to kiss girls? I love you. You don't need love to fulfil yourself."

BMO smiled.

"Thank you," he said.

"Its fine. I'm here if you wanna talk. I'm always here, surrounding you, pressed against you.

Forever.

BMO smiled in happiness.

"Okay."

* * *

**Wow, that turned into an asexual motivation... Thing. Like I said, BMO is one of my absolute favourite characters, and her characterization is difficult sometimes. He's a very imaginative little boy, yet also a caring mother. I might not get it quite right for a while.**

**Well, up next is BMO x Betty. Really, you could ship Betty with anyone, as, despite having her own episode, she doesn't have much in the way of characterisation other than 'Will not give up on stuff except when she does', which you have to admit is hard to work with.**


	2. BMO x Betty

**Well, this one's definitely very cracky. And difficult, considering that Betty has little to no enforced characterization, and BMO is very difficult to write into romantic situations. I think that Betty and BMO could bond over trying to help a loved one but not knowing how- but that seems more Marceline's ballpark. However, I believe there's a lot BMO doesn't understand about the world and himself, so I guess that could be an advantage. We'll see. On va voir. **

** PS: The way this is being done, almost all pairings will be repeated. I am going by the characters listed by FF dot net, so currently, neither Air nor Martin are characters. This may change, and new characters will be coming in, and Breezy is in, so this fic probably won't end until the show does. That may or may not be a bad thing.**

**PPS: Finn's flower is an honorary character. Just for fun.**

She was crying.

Her hair was a reddish colour, and she wore a cloak of some kind. She was currently hunched up and weeping, load, miserable sobs emanating from her, which she knew was poor word choice, but she was too sad to care. It was the latest in trying to understand how the Ice Crown worked, and finding a cure for her Simon, but it was going /terribly/.

For one thing, the Ice King barely recognized her, and refused to give the Crown to her. To be be frank, /she/ barely recognized /him/. This horrible man, who kidnapped women, who couldn't tell right from wrong simply /couldn't/ be her Simon... right?

She was starting to doubt her lover. Would the Crown have such a drastic effect if the wearer didn't already have something wrong with them in the first place? Did he even want to be saved?

Ugh, she /really/ needed to get the Crown. She didn't understand it one bit! It was all so difficult... Normally, Betty could handle it. She was a woman of science, for God's sake. Her questions weren't meant to have easy answers.

But this was a /whole new level/ of difficult.

It hadn't taken long to understand that this world was largely different from her own, and the nagging feeling that she didn't belong here. Candy was alive, there was magic /everywhere/, and the only other 'human' she knew was mutated beyond recognition.

Was it worth saving someone who she wasn't even sure she loved anymore? She didn't know. She was slowly beginning to realise that she didn't know /anything/.

And that scared her half to death.

"Are you okay?"

She looked up. Her face was puffy and red from the crying, but she was sure that wasn't the reason a little green robot was looking at her /and talking/.

"I'm fine."

"But you're crying."

"I'm okay."

She sniffed again.

"Why are you so sad?"

"I..."

How could she put what she felt into words? How could she even begin to describe something she was yet to full understand?

"I want to help the one I love," She whispered. "But I don't know how to."

The machine nodded.

"I understand."

"Really?"

"Oh, yes. Finn came home with a flower for an arm. He was so sad, but I didn't know what I could do."

Finn... Oh right, that human boy.

"You must have been scared."

"I was very scared. But I realised that he just needed to come to terms with his feelings. Jake told me so."

Betty smiled.

"That's great. But I don't think my lover can be helped so easily."

"Oh..." She appeared dejected. "Well... I'm here to talk anytime."

"Thank you. Thank you so much."

Betty didn't know why being with BMO felt so good, or why it seemed to ease her weary heart. But she did know that BMO was special, and that she loved this person.

And loving this person made being in Ooo just a little easier.

**Okay, I hope that wasn't too subtle or too aggressive, or... Ugh. Writing crack while trying to keep their personalities intact is harder than you think it is. Next time I should build a Navy for Portal or something, there's like five characters. I'd be done in an hour.**

**Next up is BMO x Breakfast Princess. I'm starting to realise how ridiculous this is, as I know almost nothing about her, so it will be mostly head-canon. I think she appeared, what, once? The wiki isn't helping. **


	3. BMO x Breakfast Princess

p style="margin: 2px 0px 1.1em; color: #0d0d0d; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 19px; letter-spacing: -1px; line-height: 28.80000114440918px;"BMO x Breakfast Princess/p  
p style="margin: 1.1em 0px; color: #0d0d0d; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 19px; letter-spacing: -1px; line-height: 28.80000114440918px;" /p  
p style="margin: 1.1em 0px; color: #0d0d0d; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 19px; letter-spacing: -1px; line-height: 28.80000114440918px;"She sighed. Another day, another breakfast. People to see, decisions to be made... The life of a princess wasn't particularly easy./p  
p style="margin: 1.1em 0px; color: #0d0d0d; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 19px; letter-spacing: -1px; line-height: 28.80000114440918px;""Good morning," she yawned./p  
p style="margin: 1.1em 0px; color: #0d0d0d; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 19px; letter-spacing: -1px; line-height: 28.80000114440918px;""Good morning!" smiled her little sister, a cute little bowl of cereal. /p  
p style="margin: 1.1em 0px; color: #0d0d0d; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 19px; letter-spacing: -1px; line-height: 28.80000114440918px;"She had way too many sisters to keep track of./p  
p style="margin: 1.1em 0px; color: #0d0d0d; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 19px; letter-spacing: -1px; line-height: 28.80000114440918px;""Are you going to be meeting with the king and queen of Lumpy Space?"/p  
p style="margin: 1.1em 0px; color: #0d0d0d; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 19px; letter-spacing: -1px; line-height: 28.80000114440918px;""Yes. We've grown rather close after that little... emIncident/em."/p  
p style="margin: 1.1em 0px; color: #0d0d0d; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 19px; letter-spacing: -1px; line-height: 28.80000114440918px;"She grimaced at the thought of being hit by a car, but she had to admit, she never would have otherwise discovered the economical benefits of investing in Lumpy Space clouds as pillow filling./p  
p style="margin: 1.1em 0px; color: #0d0d0d; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 19px; letter-spacing: -1px; line-height: 28.80000114440918px;""And... Are you going to see BMO?"/p  
p style="margin: 1.1em 0px; color: #0d0d0d; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 19px; letter-spacing: -1px; line-height: 28.80000114440918px;"She froze. /p  
p style="margin: 1.1em 0px; color: #0d0d0d; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 19px; letter-spacing: -1px; line-height: 28.80000114440918px;""What... What are you-"/p  
p style="margin: 1.1em 0px; color: #0d0d0d; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 19px; letter-spacing: -1px; line-height: 28.80000114440918px;""It's okay. I've seen the way you look at her."/p  
p style="margin: 1.1em 0px; color: #0d0d0d; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 19px; letter-spacing: -1px; line-height: 28.80000114440918px;"No, it wasn't okay. She couldn't fall in love with a non-breakfast person, and even if she did, it couldn't be a commoner./p  
p style="margin: 1.1em 0px; color: #0d0d0d; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 19px; letter-spacing: -1px; line-height: 28.80000114440918px;""I don't know what you're talking about."/p  
p style="margin: 1.1em 0px; color: #0d0d0d; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 19px; letter-spacing: -1px; line-height: 28.80000114440918px;""But it's so obvious. You have feelings for him, it's on your face whenever you even look at-"/p  
p style="margin: 1.1em 0px; color: #0d0d0d; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 19px; letter-spacing: -1px; line-height: 28.80000114440918px;""I don't know where you get these ideas from," she snarled. "I do not have feelings for that emthing, /emand you best make yourself emusefull/em, rather than sit here like stale pudding!"/p  
p style="margin: 1.1em 0px; color: #0d0d0d; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 19px; letter-spacing: -1px; line-height: 28.80000114440918px;"That was... Horrible. Not what she'd meant to say at emall. /emHer sister frowned at her, slipping out of the door. Breakfast Princess sighed. Everything was horrible. She was in love with a robot, she couldn't hold a conversation without snapping.../p  
p style="margin: 1.1em 0px; color: #0d0d0d; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 19px; letter-spacing: -1px; line-height: 28.80000114440918px;"Oh, well. Time to run after her sister and apologise./p  
p style="margin: 1.1em 0px; color: #0d0d0d; font-family: Merriweather, Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 19px; letter-spacing: -1px; line-height: 28.80000114440918px;"The life of a princess wasn't particularly easy./p 


End file.
